For years I have lived a mere 45 minutes from this border town, just 35 if you take the service road, and I've never considered it a vacation destination. Until I realized that there is a large number of poor souls who travel exclusively to El Paso in hopes of discovering a wild cowboy town.
Instead, what travelers will find in this West Texas city is a heart-attack waiting to happen and a mini-version of Hell once the left arm finally goes numb. Bad drivers and even worse parts of town will cause the heart-attack, but it's the whole atmosphere that will make you think you're at Hades doorstep.
You won't find Mexican food in El Paso, even though you can see right into Ciudad Juarez from any direction. El Paso boasts the very worst of Tex-Mex, with sloppy beans and a side of fajitas constituting "fine Mexican cuisine." I've experienced the alleged best and the very worst of El Paso dining; from Cafe Central, the city's most expensive restaurant located in downtown to the other extreme, Taco Cabana, a late-night haunt for Juarez-bound teenagers.
Cafe Central looks as though it's stuck in 1985, with leopard-print loungers and pretentious clientele. I half expected a Flock of Seagulls look-alike to snort a line of coke off the baby grand piano in the corner. At about $30.00 a plate for lunch, I was appalled when the server presented me with the wrong order.
Shopping in El Paso is anything but pleasant. Between the horrendous drivers cutting by you at every angle in the parking lot to the sharp elbows that tend to push past you once you're in the store, none of it's worth it for the lower prices.
Trying to get to Juarez for a taste of real Mexico is hellacious at best. Don't take your car below the border, especially if it's a rental, unless you want it to be tagged or stolen. Herds of New Mexico and Texas teenagers stagger across the borderline so they can participate in Tequila Derby Thursdays, so avoid that day of the week if you are so inclined to see the Juarez scene.
However, there is a slice of character and decorum in El Paso and it lies on the UTEP campus. Beautiful white stucco buildings with red tiled roofs make up the university's property. The very best bit of the campus is the Sun Bowl, a football stadium carved into the mountain. So if you find yourself in need of civility while staying in El Paso, follow the orange and blue to get to UTEP.Better yet, don't even stay in El Paso. Get out as fast as you can. The best advice I can give you is the directions to I-10 that will take you straight to New Mexico. Remember to go West, otherwise you're in for a long drive through the depths of Hell and then West Texas where your only reprieve is a place called Fort Stockten--and don't let the billboards fool you, this town is totally dead.
Once you pass the state line, check out the view behind you. A thick layer of smog over Texas makes the sunny Southwest seem overcast and makes me realize how glad I am that my parents drove West on I-10 after landing at the airport instead of staying in El Paso, Texas: Dante's ninth circle of Hell.
Here's how to get out of El Paso
Head south on Airport Road. Take a slight right on Montana Avenue. Turn right at US-180 W. Continue on Gateway Boulevard. Merge onto I-10 W and remain for 47 miles and then you'll be in the Land of Enchantment.
Thanks to www.studyusa.com for the use of the photo.
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